Sunday, January 26, 2020

Project A-Ko (1986)

The holidays are over, my vacation time is spent, and despite my best efforts, it looks like I'm not moving anymore.  So instead of desperately packing up my home, I finally have time to sit around and watch some films again.  Today, I re-watched Project A-Ko (1986), a classic from my childhood.

SYNOPSIS:
Two best friends, the strong redhead A-Ko and blonde ditzy C-Ko, begin their first day at Graviton High School for Girls.  There, they meet a fellow classmate, B-Ko: a rich and spoiled blue-haired brat who falls for C-Ko and plots to remove A-Ko from her life.  But defeating A-Ko in battle proves difficult, as she apparently possesses superhuman speed and strength!  B-Ko develops larger and more powerful mechs to fight A-Ko every day before class.  But while they're locked in deadly skirmish, an alien ship full of manly women approaches their town, having identified their long-lost princess among the three girls...

REVIEW:
This was the very first anime film I ever saw, and to this day, still stands as one of my favorites!  As a young kid, I was a very energetic and outdoorsy kind of person.  I loved to climb trees, play sports, practice martial arts, and I was always the fastest at obstacle courses - no one could beat me!  Speed and agility were some of my top tenets in life back then.  If American Ninja Warrior had been a thing when I was a kid, I would've dominated that show! Of course, I'm slow, broken, and putting on a bit of weight nowadays, so my most active days are probably behind me.  But back then, I loved anything that inspired speed and agility.  Which is probably why, to this day, Sonic the Hedgehog is my all-time favorite cartoon character.

A-Ko's speed and strength are never really addressed in this film, except as a shock to people introduced to her for the first time.  Every day, she and C-Ko are running late to school and A-Ko makes the trip running at supersonic speeds, with C-Ko in tow.  Every day, she has to defeat a new powerful mech of B-Ko's, which she punches and kicks through like they were paper.  She seems near-indestructible!  And she was a huge inspiration to young me, who wanted to be faster and stronger.

I will say, if you can bear it, you may be better off watching this in Japanese with subtitles.  The English dub was made back when anime was passed off as kid shows in America and budgets for translating voices was very low, so the English audio is rough to listen to at times.  C-Ko is incredibly annoying to hear in English, being a whiny brat who cries if she gets in trouble or doesn't get her way.  Honestly, I don't see what the appeal is for B-Ko.

This film would probably be appealing to modern-day feminists and trans people, as the entire cast is female, regardless of strength, size, or appearance.  One of B-Ko's henchmen is a giant muscle-bound lady who has deep grunts and shouts, but speaks in a high-pitched effeminate voice.  The alien forces invading the town are from an all-woman race.  Some of them appear to be men at first glance, but it's revealed that not one of them is a man, and they're all very strong fighters.  Even A-Ko, with all her superhuman strength, finds herself challenged while fighting one of their top operatives.

Of course, this was made in a different era, so when the English dub was made, they changed B-Ko's interest in C-Ko from a romantic one to a friendly one.  She only wants C-Ko as her new friend in the English dub.  If you watch the Japanese version, you'll find she's actually attracted to C-Ko and is jealous of A-Ko getting to hang out with her all the time.  So the original version was a bit more tolerant of LGBTQ+ relationships.

RECOMMENDATION:
If you want some action porn, this movie has plenty of it!  (If you're here for the "other" anime porn, there's like two brief boob shots in this film, but that's it)  If you want to see space battles, there's a few good scenes of giant ships battling, plus some tanks and jets vs alien spider mechs.  If you enjoy old 80s anime films and music (like me), this is the epitome of 80s anime!  If you like strong, powerful women who save the day and rescue the damsel in distress, there's plenty of that here too!  Watching empowering films like this as a kid, plus having a strong female role model throughout my upbringing (my mother), made me the tolerant and empathetic person I am today.  I'd recommend this film to anyone!

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

The Witcher (2019)

Boy, I haven't posted any new reviews since last year! ;)  My wife and I finished watching The Witcher (2019) last night.  It was really good!

SYNOPSIS:
Set in a medieval fantasy world known as The Continent, Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill) is a Witcher; a man mutated by chemicals and magic in his childhood to improve his strength and senses tenfold and give him limited magical abilities.  Witchers were created to protect humanity and hunt monsters, but most monsters are slipping into legend and the few Witchers left are treated like monsters themselves by humanity.  Also traveling The Continent is Yennefer of Vengerberg (Anya Chalotra), a crippled magic user who hopes to become the most powerful mage in the world one day, and Ciri (Freya Allan), a princess from a fallen kingdom who is desperately searching for Geralt to protect her.

REVIEW:
The first thing you should know about this series is that Geralt and Yennifer's individual stories take place at different times in the past, while Ciri's is taking place in the present.  There are no date/time stamps or anything, so it takes you a while to realize you're viewing events a little out of order.  Someone dies in Ciri's story, then an episode later, they're hanging out with Geralt.  Kind of threw me for a loop.  But as the series goes on, all three stories eventually catch up to one another by the final episode.

Seriously, though... Yennefer is training to be a mage, then the next scene she's in, she's complaining that she's been stuck serving as someone's personal mage for 3 decades and is bored of it.  The fact that mages don't physically age in this series makes it hard to tell time accurately.  And as far as I understand, no one knows how old Witchers can live to, as they've all eventually died in battle.  Although in the video games, the Witcher who created Geralt was somewhere around 200 years old, and it's estimated that Geralt himself was over 100.  So telling the passage of time is an issue with this TV series.

But that's the only bad thing about this show.  The series itself is very entertaining.  It might take you a half an episode to get into the fantasy world, but once you understand the rules and expectations of this world, you start to really enjoy the adventures the characters are on.  Geralt is feared as a butcher of men, but a plucky bard named Jaskier (Joey Batey) decides to follow him and sing songs of his accomplishments, to improve his image and help earn him some coin along the way. His song "Toss a coin to your Witcher" is a very catchy tune.  Here's the song, set to some scenes from the video game:


Yennifer is a crippled girl who comes from an abusive common life, but upon discovering her magical talents, she trains to overcome her weaknesses and work her way toward becoming the most powerful mage in the world.  Ciri is a spoiled princess who finds herself on the run after her kingdom is overthrown.  She's told to find Geralt of Rivia to protect her and she learns how to survive on her own in the woods, with some help of random commoners along the way.  Both women have empowering stories, overcoming obstacles to better themselves and continue surviving in the harsh world.  They both start out the typical damsel in distress, but they take charge of their situation and save themselves instead of waiting for a hero to rescue them.

If you've ever played the first video game, you'll recognize episode 3, Betrayer Moon.  The (lengthy) opening cinematic for the first Witcher video game is loosely recreated as this episode's story.  I have all three video games, but I've been sitting on them for years, never getting more than a couple hours into the first game.  I really need to play those games through.

A little backstory that's not explained in this TV series: they talk about the "Conjunction of the Spheres" a couple of times, but not what that actually is. Basically, about 1,500 years prior to this tale, a bunch of portals opened up between parallel realms in the multiverse, letting a bunch of unnatural creatures into this universe. (According to the elves, humans were one of these "unnatural creatures" that crossed into their world)  Eventually, the portals were closed off and wars were fought by all the factions of creatures over who would rule the Continent.  Humans, with the aid of magic that they learned from the elves, and their mutated Witchers, eventually won and became the dominant race.  But monsters and other horrible creatures still exist, though rare and mostly hidden in the wilds.

A little history on the franchise: The Witcher originated as a short story written by the Polish author, Andrzej Sapkowski for a magazine contest in 1986.  It was called "Wiedźmin," which actually translates to "The Hexxer."  He wrote a couple more short stories in the early '90s before starting a 5-book series focused on Geralt and Ciri.  In 2002, a couple Polish guys who knew nothing about designing video games decided to create a video game company called CD Projekt Red.  They used Andrzej Sapkowski's book series as inspiration and got the rights to develop them into their first game, which amazingly turned out a success despite the company having no experience in video game development.  When translating it to English, instead of using the more accurate Hexxer, they called it The Witcher (2007).  And the title has stuck ever since.

RECOMMENDATION:
If the season finale of Game of Thrones disappointed you, this is the ailment for that burn.  Once you get used to the three different timelines being told in this show, the series is gripping to the end.  It tells a good backstory on all three of the main characters and helps establish motive and goals, so when they start to overlap in later episodes, you understand their individual plights and struggles.  The only thing that upsets me about this series is that season 2 won't release until 2021! I don't know if I can wait that long for more.  I feel like they just barely started scratching the surface of this world and I'm excited to see more in the future.  You should definitely check this show out. And if you haven't yet, play the three games!  During Steam's Winter Sale (ending around noon tomorrow (2 Jan 2020)), you can find The Witcher for $1.49, The Witcher 2 for $2.99, and The Witcher 3 for $11.99 on sale.  It's a steal!

Monday, December 30, 2019

The Mandalorian (2019)

Hey all!  My Christmas movie marathon is over, which means I'm back to normal reviews.  And just last night, my wife and I binged The Mandalorian (2019).

SYNOPSIS:
After the fall of the Empire (Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)), the far reaches of the universe have fallen into disarray.  No more galactic rule means no more law and order, and the New Republic has yet to extend their control across the galaxy.  A lone Mandalorian (Pedro Pascal) survives by taking on jobs with a bounty hunter guild.  But his latest job makes him question the guild's rules and he finds himself being pursued as the latest bounty...

REVIEW:
This show was amazing!  Jon Favreau (Writer/Executive Producer) proves yet again that anything he touches turns to gold!  He created a unique story line in the Star Wars franchise that exemplifies the Star Wars universe, while also being able to stand alone as its own independent thing.  You don't need to know anything about the rest of the Star Wars universe to enjoy this TV series.

It fits the old western genre, with the Mandalorian being the lone gunslinger.  He ventures out to lawless territories, shooting his way through conflict.  It has incredible suspense and keeps you engaged in the story from start to finish.  The Mandalorians (a sect of warriors originating from the former planet of Mandalore) are sworn to never remove their helmet in front of others.  Yet, you can read so much emotion through that solid helmet.  You can see the wheels turning when he finds himself stuck in a desperate situation and you can see him weighing his options when presented with an emotional twist.  Pedro Pascal does an excellent job conveying emotions with his entire face obscured.

And of course, there's baby Yoda! It's not actually Yoda, but his species has yet to be named in the Star Wars movie universe, so he's essentially a baby of Yoda's species.  The Internet has gone nuts over this cute, tiny version of Yoda.  Despite being an infant, this baby is apparently 50 years old!  The explanation being that species age at different rates across the galaxy.  Which makes sense; Yoda was 900 years old by the end of Episode VI.

I chose to binge this series because the episodes were only 30 minutes long and I couldn't wait week after week for the next episode to release.  I wish Disney+ would release complete series and not treat their new streaming service like a TV broadcast.  That's what Netflix discovered when they started streaming TV shows; that people preferred to binge an entire series in one sitting.  I boycotted this show until the first season was complete and available to stream.  And I'm glad I did, because at 8 episodes, you can power through this show in only 4 hours.  It's a perfect show to burn through in a free afternoon.

RECOMMENDATION:
If you love old western shows and you're interested in sci-fi, you'll love this modern twist on both genres!  Not only do you get all the old cowboy tropes (lone gunslinger, bounty hunting, jailbreaks, outnumbered shoot-outs in small lawless towns, etc.), but you get beautiful exotic worlds, unique creatures and cultures, and awesome space travel.  I highly recommend this series!

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Die Hard (1988)

Merry Christmas Eve!  Tonight, I wanted to watch the most epic Christmas film ever... Die Hard (1988)!

SYNOPSIS:
NYPD cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis) flies to LA to visit his estranged wife for Christmas.  But shortly after he shows up at her office's Christmas party, the place is overrun by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and his team of terrorists.  John find himself isolated in the building and takes it upon himself to single-handedly stop the terrorist plot.

REVIEW:
I don't care what anyone else says; this is most definitely a Christmas movie.  It takes place on Christmas Eve.  It takes place at a Christmas party.  John McClane dresses up a defeated bad guy with a Santa hat and writes on his sweater, "Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho."  John uses Christmas tape to affix guns to his back.  Plus the numerous mentions of Christmas and its various themes scattered across the film.

There are also several Christmas themes played throughout the film (Winter Wonderland, Christmas in Hollis, Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!, Jingle Bells, and Ode to Joy).  Several people whistle Christmas themes too.  There was even a scene where the bad guys are first setting up in the building and I noticed some intense music playing in the background, which was just a rearranged version of Winter Wonderland.  This film is pretty good at reminding you periodically throughout that it's a Christmas film.  So I don't see how anyone could protest.

This is also a classic old-school cop film.  John McClane mentions that rule-following is something his boss has to keep reminding him about.  He is the "cowboy," comparing himself to Roy Rogers.  He's a lone gunslinger, keeping his side-piece on him, even though he's on vacation.  He plays by his own rules and scoffs at the "professionals" attempting to take over control of the situation.  He stays alive by relying on his wits and intuition.  Films like this have disappeared in recent years, being replaced by more fantastical things like superheroes and fantasy films.

This film was the first movie role of Alan Rickman, known best for playing Snape in the Harry Potter series.  And he did excellent!  He was 41 years old when he made it big, which should be motivating for anyone who feels like their life isn't going anywhere. Look at how famous he was, and he didn't even start until he was already over the hill!

Random trivia: Clint Eastwood owned the rights to the original novel this film was based on: "Nothing Lasts Forever."  He planned to star in it in the early '80s, but it took too long to develop and he got too old, so he eventually handed it off to someone else, who cast Bruce Willis in the titular role.

RECOMMENDATION:
If you enjoy action films, this is a classic must-watch!  If you like Christmas films, you should check this out and decide for yourself if it's Christmas-themed enough for you.  Either way, you need to see this film!  It spawned a 5-movie franchise that ranks up there with some of the greatest action films of all time.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

Monday, December 23, 2019

Office Christmas Party (2016)

This is my third and final film for tonight's Christmas movie marathon: Office Christmas Party (2016).   If you missed out on any of my other reviews tonight, you can either Facebook stalk me or read all of them at https://cobyreviews.blogspot.com.

SYNOPSIS:
Clay (T.J. Miller), the branch manager of an IT company, is the cool guy who bends over backward to help his employees, all while having fun.  When his uptight sister, Carol (Jennifer Aniston), the CEO of their company, threatens to close his branch, Clay decides to hold the most epic office Christmas party ever to woo a wealthy prospective client and save his branch.

REVIEW:
This was your standard story where everything goes to hell and the protagonist(s) has to perform a last-minute miracle to save the day.  But it was unique enough that it was enjoyable to watch.  I usually find T.J. Miller to be annoying, but he was entertaining in this film.  The real protagonist of the story was Josh (Jason Bateman) and his subordinate, Tracey (Olivia Munn).  Despite being a sort of co-branch manager, Josh is the one actually performing all the work while Clay just parties.

There are other characters that get some screen time, like the strict but odd H.R. rep (Kate McKinnon), the sweet mother/employee who keeps being harassed by her creepy coworkers (Vanessa Bayer), and the awkward nerd who has to hire a prostitute to impress his subordinates with his "hot girlfriend who totally exists" (Karan Soni).  There are actually a lot of big names attached to this film; a lot of them Saturday Night Live alumni.

Just when you think things can't get any worse, the film finds a way to up the stakes.  Several times, you think this office party is out of control and then something else happens that digs a deeper hole for the main cast to get themselves out of.  As a member of the military, used to strict rules and following orders, seeing a civilian party that essentially trashes the entire office and nearly bankrupts a company was a bit shocking for me.  I'd actually be surprised if people don't suffer legal repercussions for a lot of the destruction caused, like throwing various IT equipment through windows.  The CEO is almost killed by a printer thrown out a window at one point!  And yet nothing really comes of it.

I think the real hero of the film is the security lady, Carla (Da'Vine Joy Randolph).  She takes her job seriously, choosing to guard the front door instead of attending the party.  And when things start to get rough, Josh tells her this is her "John McClane moment" (from Die Hard) and she dual-wields tasers to reign in the crazier attendees and to prevent property theft.  If anyone kept some semblance of order at that office party, it's Carla.

RECOMMENDATION:
This was an enjoyable film to watch.  Definitely meant for adults.  There is a ton of vulgar language and concepts, and even a few scenes of nudity, so put the kids to bed before you put this one on.  But if you want some wild and crazy comedy action, this'll scratch that itch.  I'd recommend it!

Frosty the Snowman (1969)

Tonight. I'm really doing a Christmas movie marathon!  For my second of three films tonight, I watched Frosty the Snowman (1969).

SYNOPSIS:
When a terrible magician (Billy De Wolfe) throws his hat out, some kids pick it up and add it to their snowman, who magically comes to life!  Afraid of melting in the warming temperatures, Frosty (Jackie Vernon) decides to go to the North Pole to stay cool. He is assisted by Karen (June Foray), one of the children who helped bring him to life.  But the magician, discovering the magic in his hat, wants it back and proceeds to follow them...

REVIEW:
I loved this film as a kid!  I can't tell you how many times I watched it over and over again.  But I haven't seen it since I was really young, so it was interesting to see it again as an adult.

This story was narrated by Jimmy Durante, who played a cartoon version of himself, something he was known for doing at the time (playing himself, not the cartoon version of himself).  This is the second older cartoony film I've seen today that had a narrator who looked like his character, as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) had a snowman designed to look like Burl Ives, who narrated the story.  Must've been a thing in the '60s.

I always thought it was funny how Frosty always said, "Happy Birthday!" every time he came to life.  I mean, it's accurate; he WAS just born...

It was interesting that everyone claimed the magician had no right to his own hat, simply because he got mad and threw it out the door.  His own rabbit (named Hocus Pocus), who lived in the hat, made sure he wouldn't get his hat back and follows Frosty and Karen, doing what he can to help them out and keep the magician away.

Karen made a dumb decision to go with Frosty to the North Pole, which put her in a dangerous situation.  While Frosty was fine in the cold, Karen started to freeze to death and had to be rescued.  Also, the scene where they both get locked in a greenhouse and Frosty started to melt in the heat was devastating for child me!

RECOMMENDATION:
I absolutely loved this TV special!  Like I said, I watched the hell out of it when I was little.  Anyone who hasn't seen this wonderful special needs to track it down on YouTube (I haven't seen it anywhere else).  It's a fun little story about Frosty coming to life and learning about the world around him with the help of children.  Go watch it!  It's only 25 minutes long.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Happy Holidays!  Tonight, for my Christmas movie marathon, I'll be reviewing THREE films!  (Not counting Elf (2003), which I actually watched yesterday)  The first review is on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964).  Just a reminder that you can read all my reviews at https://cobyreviews.blogspot.com.

SYNOPSIS:
Sam the Snowman narrates the tale of Rudolph, the reindeer born with a glowing red nose.  Rudolph's unique nose is rejected by his father, Donner.  He attempts to hide it, but the other reindeer discover it and make fun of him, not letting him play in any reindeer games.  He runs away and runs into a couple other misfits: Hermey, an elf who wants to be a dentist; and Yukon Cornelius, a prospector.  The trio of misfits escape from the Abominable Snowman and come across an island of misfit toys.  Rudolph decides to help the toys find homes and heads home to the North Pole.

REVIEW:
I haven't seen this film since I was a child!  I remember the Abominable Snowman scared the hell out of me when I was a kid.  I was also weirded out by King Moonracer, the winged lion who rules the island of misfit toys.

Santa is really mean in this TV special!  He shames Donner for having a red-nosed son, is bored out of his mind when the elves perform a song for him, and constantly complains about everything.  He only changes when he realizes Rudolph's red nose might save the day.  Which honestly, is pretty selfish.  Probably the worst Santa I've ever seen on film.

I've always known the story of Rudolph, but this film seemed to add a ton of filler to the tale.  Like the elf who wanted to be a dentist, the eccentric prospector, the island of misfit toys, and the Abominable Snowman.  Not to mention, Rudolph has a love interest in the doe Clarice and has to save her and the rest of his family from the Abominable Snowman.  It felt like the story was all over the place.  I kept wondering how the story was going to get back to Rudolph saving the day, but it kept branching into new adventures.  Which was plenty entertaining, don't get me wrong.

RECOMMENDATION:
This is a classic Christmas story that's been around 20 years longer than I have.  It's a traditional TV special that's familiar to most everyone.  If you haven't seen it yet, you should!

Random trivia: In the original version of the film, Rudolph promises to tell Santa about the misfit toys so they can be given to children who would love them.  But then no other mention of them was ever made.  Children from all over wrote in to the producers, complaining that nothing was done to help the misfit toys.  So they added a segment to the end where Santa goes to pick them up and distribute them to the children of the world.  That addition has become a standard part of the special ever since.